To Unpathed Waters, Undreamed Shores

Today, a fellow student asked me offhandedly what my greatest fear was. He was simply looking for a few answers to put in his journalism assignment, but his question got me thinking. My immediate first thought was that my greatest fear is the fear of failure. I irrationally think that I will never be good enough. I like to think that I have self-confidence, I’m sure that life will hold great things for me. But every now and then thoughts cross my mind where I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I’m doomed to fail at all the things I want to do. I fear that my life will be one mundane event to another. I’m afraid I won’t live the life I’ve imagined for myself. That somehow, all these things I’ve dreamed about will never come to fruition, no matter how hard I try to work towards them. 

Then I remember all the things I’ve done in the last two years. Going to college, making friends who will last a lifetime, studying abroad, traveling the world. And I then remember that studying and traveling were two things I envisioned in my life, and lo and behold, they happened. Last year I lived a good majority of my dreams. If you had told me in high school I would be spending my sophomore year of college in Switzerland and London, I would have thought you were crazy. But it really happened. And I’m constantly reminded of the card my mom hid in my suitcase when I left for Lausanne. She told me how proud she was of me for really living out my dreams. 

With her words in mind, there is no reason why I should be afraid of failure. At twenty years old, I have realized so many things I want and desire, so much so, that I know the next twenty, thirty, fifty, seventy-five years will be full of just as much success and happiness. Failure may come, but it’s not something I should be afraid of. 

I didn’t tell this student what my greatest fear really was. He came in asking for just some answer, nothing deep, just something to write down. I told him my greatest fear was of heights. But in truth, the highest building in the world doesn’t scare me more than the unexpected twists and turns of the future.