Today, a fellow student asked me offhandedly what my greatest fear was. He was simply looking for a few answers to put in his journalism assignment, but his question got me thinking. My immediate first thought was that my greatest fear is the fear of failure. I irrationally think that I will never be good enough. I like to think that I have self-confidence, I’m sure that life will hold great things for me. But every now and then thoughts cross my mind where I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I’m doomed to fail at all the things I want to do. I fear that my life will be one mundane event to another. I’m afraid I won’t live the life I’ve imagined for myself. That somehow, all these things I’ve dreamed about will never come to fruition, no matter how hard I try to work towards them.
Then I remember all the things I’ve done in the last two years. Going to college, making friends who will last a lifetime, studying abroad, traveling the world. And I then remember that studying and traveling were two things I envisioned in my life, and lo and behold, they happened. Last year I lived a good majority of my dreams. If you had told me in high school I would be spending my sophomore year of college in Switzerland and London, I would have thought you were crazy. But it really happened. And I’m constantly reminded of the card my mom hid in my suitcase when I left for Lausanne. She told me how proud she was of me for really living out my dreams.
With her words in mind, there is no reason why I should be afraid of failure. At twenty years old, I have realized so many things I want and desire, so much so, that I know the next twenty, thirty, fifty, seventy-five years will be full of just as much success and happiness. Failure may come, but it’s not something I should be afraid of.
I didn’t tell this student what my greatest fear really was. He came in asking for just some answer, nothing deep, just something to write down. I told him my greatest fear was of heights. But in truth, the highest building in the world doesn’t scare me more than the unexpected twists and turns of the future.
it changes me.” —C. S. Lewis (via minusoneday)